


take my hand (wherever you go)

by entremeler



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mutual Pining, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21543997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/entremeler/pseuds/entremeler
Summary: five years ago, dongho knew that his love was not enough reason to convince aron to stay.he lets go - yet aron finds his way back to him.
Relationships: Kang Dongho | Baekho/Aaron Kwak | Aron
Comments: 8
Kudos: 43
Collections: N.S.S. 2019





	take my hand (wherever you go)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sub_Energy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sub_Energy/gifts).



> thank you for the lovely baekron prompt (as i wouldn't have the courage to write for them otherwise sobs), i hope you'll like it.
> 
> unbeta-ed. fueled by countless rewatching of the baekron [wolmido date](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgmLn8dnkyU) and [dongho](https://twitter.com/neo_ttaemune/status/1123170220686708736?s=20) [writing](https://twitter.com/bugiinillusion/status/989828044561858560?s=20) [good](https://twitter.com/bugiinillusion/status/989918990221787137?s=20) [love](https://twitter.com/Melodia_Muse/status/989902864993599488?s=20)

it takes getting used to.

hearing the latest bubblegum pop song he co-produced blasting on the speakers overhead. the team he worked with on his first project as a producer - a newfound family, raised him a glass, poised to toast, as they welcome him to hell hole that is idol music production.

dongho, or his new alias bbaekkom laughed, lilting sound filling the table but says his thanks and bumps his glass. jihoon wanted the three of them, him and bumzu, to match pseudonyms and insisted it was cute. dongho agreed.  
  
being busy is something he's grateful for. he doesn't mind the work, as long as his music gets heard. years of perfecting his craft finally paying off.  
  


drinking out to celebrate also takes getting used to. but his alcohol tolerance will remain to be two glasses tops, dongho thinks, as he feels his face immediately heat up when he drained the soju shot. 

if it's up to him, he'd rather be lying down in his bed, weeks of pent-up exhaustion finally catching up on his body but the promise of a free dinner from the grill they frequented and the prospect of eating a proper meal is too tempting an offer to turn down.

when the chatters on their table quiet down, people barely coherent. pleasant buzzing in their heads, they decide to call it a day. dongho is the last one to head out, patting his winter coat in place.

the cold breeze of february nights is unforgiving. but it does the trick of sobering him up. he doesn't want to return to the apartment yet, suddenly feeling very awake. wandering aimlessly, his feet leads him to the studio, located about three blocks away from the grill.

pitch black is the sight that greets him as he opens the door to his room. dongho's stayed enough late hours to still be able to navigate through the space with success. in no time, he's reached the computer, booting it up. the only thing permeating through the darkness is the soft glow from the monitor, illuminating the scattered coffee cups on the table.

his body feels heavy as he lowers himself onto the swivel chair. sighing, dongho lets his eyes scan through the files he has unfinished. blank canvases waiting to be painted with stories. after a few moments, his sight rests on an untitled file.

it is still a work in progress, but dongho already has a recipient in mind. securing the headphones in his ears, he clicks the file open. melodic tunes replacing the white noise. the sound his only accompaniment in the dawn.

he's yet to fill the melody with lyrics.

 _if he were here right now, he could probably tell who i wrote this for_ , dongho thinks, feeling abashed.

the digital clock at the bottom of the screen reads 2:15. counting 13 hours backwards, he deems it an acceptable time to contact the other.

should he?

it's a hard habit to break. seeking aron's presence whenever something good happens. perhaps it's the hand and patting his back, sometimes ruffling his hair or it's the full-stretched smile he's rewarded with that he seeks from it.

ever since dongho's childhood friend moved to the states to pursue his dreams though, the proximity forced him to settle to calling.

"i'm always glad to hear from you, dongho-yah," aron reassures him for the nth time that the younger is not imposing on him. _you are never a bother to me,_ aron hopes dongho understands what he cannot say.

those words are enough to placate the growing feeling of longing. until it isn't.

soon, the calls become less ㅡ

"it's getting late there. your readings won't finish themselves you know? let's catch up later, hyung," dongho hurriedly excuses himself from their weekly call. aron's probably seen through him, he wasn't that good of a liar. 

five months have passed since the older moved away from their little town. five months yet dongho is still miserable, while he sounds happy. from the photos he's seen and the stories that were shared to him, aron's settling in just fine.

ㅡ and even lesser.

dongho chalks it up to their busy schedules, but deep inside he knows that it's his choice not to call as often. to start picking himself up from where aron has left him. however, he's just had his career break today. this is big news, he justifies to himself. that's enough reason. heart twinging when he realized that he never used to need a reason to. 

_one call, that's my reward._

and so he gives in and dials the older. 

three rapt rings after and "hello?"

"dongho-yah, what's up?" a familiar voice rumbles on the speaker. it sounds cheery as always, with a hint of surprise.

he relishes the feeling of nostalgia. then he remembers why he called, to share the news of his debut as a producer.

"i always knew you could do it! i'm so happy for you!" aron says. he could almost imagine how the other would ruffle his hair if he was beside him. dongho finally allows a sliver of pride bubble inside him, glad for the validation.

"thank you, hyung. i just called to tell you that," he winces at that. it sounded awkward.

the older thankfully ignores it, "alright, i'll let you catch some rest. will listen to the song later. good night, dongho." 

his finger was about to tap the end call button when he hears it - a soft _i miss you_ from the other line. so softly, aron must have uttered it thinking dongho already ended the call. 

or maybe he's imagined it. right, it's the alcohol getting to his brain. but his traitorous heart says otherwise ㅡ beating furiously, more alive than it ever was. longing filling every crevice of his being. it kept dongho awake. 

he wants to say he misses him, too.

* * *

everything is foreign to aron. 

the boy heaves a sigh while his hands continue flicking the pebbles beneath him. for how many times his family has moved from one city to another, one would think he should be well-adjusted now.

this time, though, he's made _many_ friends. who liked to play with him. his teachers always praised him, giving him the warmest smiles when they stamp a big star on his hand. aron was starting to be happy.

so when his dad tells him to say goodbye to them, aron's whole world came crashing down. _again?_ he questions, visibly upset. 

a hand softly strokes his hair, "sweetie, this is the last time. i promise." and aron can never say no. he does not like making his mom sad.

oh well, he supposes, maybe moving isn't all that bad. at least he lives near the sea now. aron had always loved the sea. so he swims, and swims to his heart's content to chase the sadness away. thinks he could have much more fun if someone could build sandcastles with him.

aron’s mom tells him he starts school tomorrow. maybe he’ll find a friend.

* * *

dongho steals a glance at the boy seated beside him. 

mrs. kim, the teacher with a kind face, asked them to draw something. he’s already finished his - it was a silver sword. or at least that was what it was supposed to look like. dongho was not good at drawing anyway.

his new seatmate- _aron_ , dongho remembers, if not for the enthusiastic way he introduced himself to every kid, was looking so concentrated doing his. thick eyebrows creased in the middle, lower lip pulled in a pout. it looks like he was drawing a knight holding a shield. and doing a very successful job at it.

“your drawing looks nice,” dongho blurts out. 

eyes widening for a moment, aron faces the kind-faced kid he was sharing a table with. he stares at the other’s paper and nods. “the sword looks sharp enough, it will be perfect for my knight!” aron finishes with a beam. dongho can’t help but to smile back.

in that shared table, the two became inseparable. wherever dongho is, there is aron.

dongho hands aron a peeled tangerine, which he gratefully accepts. it was harvest time, dongho tells him, and offers to show him around his family's farm, if he'd like. 

"i only share my food to people i like," dongho teases. "so consider yourself lucky, kwak aron."

dongho watches as aron pops the fruit in his mouth. humming appreciatively at the sweet taste. wordlessly, aron splits the pastry he's holding into two, giving the other to dongho. they shared a meal in comfortable silence. wordlessly, dongho scoots closer to him.

just like that, sharing things together is now a simple fact of life.

next thing he knew, the boy with a smile brighter than the sun has become a permanent fixture in dongho's life.

* * *

in the five years he spent away, nothing much had changed. 

the same skyscraper-filled landscape. people bustling out and about the streets. the humid air kissing his skin. 

at least that's what aron could infer from the view at car's front seat. he's finally back home.

he's eventually buried that tiny bit of disappointment that his childhood friend could not come see him at the airport. there are plenty other chances to see dongho anyway.

the past five years had been hard on him, being away from his family and friends, his safety net. aron’s learned to endure; knowing that a price must be paid if he wanted his dreams to go somewhere. 

moving away to study journalism on the other side of the world bruised his relationship with dongho. aron supposes the distance is not the only thing to be blamed. there are ways to reach him, to maintain contact.

but for aron, there are also lines that he’s not yet ready to blur. 

his younger self was desperate to find a place for himself. all those years spent trying to befriend everyone, to be a crowd pleaser, stopped when he met the boy with the smiling eyes who called himself dongho. 

because with dongho, aron only needs to be himself.

aron believes he’s already found home. but fears that when dongho learns about the gravity of his feelings, he might feel suffocated. by not checking up on the younger as much as he had wanted to, aron thinks he’s given him room to breathe. now, he fears that it’s too late to make amends and he’s lost dongho permanently.

* * *

"glasses or contact lenses? who cares about that. wear whatever you're comfortable with using," dongho voices out seeing aron’s conflicted face. they were in high school. for days now, aron has been worrying about switching to lenses, muttering about needing to maintain his “image”. 

frowning, dongho doesn't understand what aron's fussing about. thinks he looks good either way.

it turns out that aron took the advice, ending up still wearing the specs from time to time. to be honest, he finds it much more comfortable to use during hell weeks, especially, when he lets himself run a little unkempt.

"you brat! stop calling me youngmin," the older berates, whacking his friend's arm. aron fiddles with his glasses self-consciously. laughing, dongho promises not to. for a while. the pretty pink dusting his hyung's cheeks taking him by surprise. the round specs frame aron’s face well, giving him the aura of a wise, composed person. hence the sudden nickname. aron waves at him dismissively after, no doubt heading off to attend to another extra-curricular activity.

the two go out for pork rinds later. aron’s found out that the convenience store from across the school started selling his favorite food and naturally, he asked dongho to try it out with him. it’s his way of saying that he didn’t truly mind the teasing. and he missed hanging out with his friend.

dongho accepts and offers to buy their drinks. on the way back to their table, two cold soda cans in hand, he takes a good look at aron. eyes drinking in the sight, dongho thinks it’s unfair. how even under the harsh artificial light, cheeks puffed like a squirrel’s, aron looks handsome. long eyelashes fluttering as he blows on the food.

dongho is extremely attracted.

wanting to slow down the incessant beating on his chest, dongho presses the surface of the can onto aron’s cheek. caught off guard, aron yelps. eyebrows furrowing when he sees dongho having the time of his life laughing. despite himself, he chuckles as well. he was never good at resisting dongho’s infectious laughter anyway.

“can’t help it when you look so cute, hyung,” dongho tells him after he caught his breath. now, aron’s no stranger to harmless flirting. but something about being under dongho’s attention, especially when he recalls how flustered he felt from the _youngmin_ incident earlier, made his hands clammy. what was that about? aron finally manages, “shut up and start eating.” they fell onto their routine soon, talking about anything in between the otherwise comfortably silent meal they shared. 

aron gets his answer soon.

it happens one summer break, aron's last before he goes to university. almost like a routine, dongho tags along during aron's daily walks with noah and kkotsoonie, his family’s shiba dogs.

"i'm their uncle! it means i get to walk them too," the younger tries to convince aron one time. before he could even open his mouth to answer, the dogs fawn over dongho, happily munching on the treats their "uncle" has given them, owner long forgotten.

“tell your mom you’ll stay for dinner later, dongho. i’ll cook your favorite dishes.” mrs. kwak gently tells him. dongho nods enthusiastically.

and so, with one hand of aron’s holding noah's leash, dongho holding kkotsoon's they make their way to the park across the neighborhood. 

after rounds of going around the place, they settle on the bench under the shade, energy thoroughly expended by the two balls of fur waiting patiently below them. aron rummages through his bag to retrieve the water bottle. he pours generous amounts of water to the bowls he's prepared, knowing his two kids must be feeling thirsty.

aron attends to his friend next, one hand holding a towel extended. the sight that greets him leaves his throat dry. dongho drenched in sweat, hair slicked back. hazel orbs bright, all the while wearing a smile that could rival the sun's.

something in aron stirs.

his eyes make the mistake of lingering on his companion's lips, tongue darting to wet the lower lip. slightly parting his lips, aron wonders if dongho's would feel as soft as it looks against his. 

before his thoughts could wander off elsewhere, he clears his throat. "you must be tired, dongho-yah. let's head home?" hoping his voice doesn't betray the flurry of emotions raging inside him.

that's dongho. he can't. doesn't know if dongho even sees him that way. 

aron's acceptance letter to new york university arrives a day later.

* * *

dongho can't remember the last time he spent this long away from his best friend. busying himself with things that let him forget about aron for a little while. everyone knew they were attached to the hip. but he better start getting used to this setup. it would do him good in the long run.

there was no question; he was happy for aron, knowing how he worried himself about being admitted to his dream school for countless nights. dongho was willing, _wants_ to give him all the support he needs. as long as aron is happy. 

so why can’t he stomp down the unease on his chest? clenching his fist, he reminds himself that all he has left is borrowed time. avoiding aron will not help him.  
  
after that day, dongho found a new resolution: make aron’s last weeks in here the happiest he’s ever spent. that meant trying out food, (“dates,” aron jokes. unaware of the war raging in dongho’s heart.) going on walks with nosoon, finally indulging aron in watching cheesy romcoms with him. everything he wants, if within dongho’s power, he will not refuse him.  
  
if this is all that dongho is to aron - a companion, a best friend, then he’ll take it. in the sea that is aron, he drowns and never wants to be saved. there was no use in denying it.  
  
if he gets his heart broken by the time aron leaves, he thinks, he had this coming.

* * *

it was the bloom of spring. bursts of color paint the town bright after the monochrome winter. hints of smile, happiness at the start of the school break are present in the air yet all dongho feels is coldness. 

aron is leaving today. 

yesterday, he went over to help him pack. still sticking to the plan of spending as much time with the other as possible. like countless times, they spent the night lying on the roof, side by side. counting stars, tracing constellations with their hands.

they had been pointedly avoiding talking about him moving away. that’s why it comes as a surprise to dongho that aron voices out, “do you think we’ll ever forget each other?”

hope blooms in his chest, desperate. maybe he’s as lonely as i am, maybe he wants to stay.  
  
then, “remember me always, dongho.”  
  
he searches aron’s eyes for the mischievous glint that accompanies these words but finds none of it. instead, he sees traces of longing and regret.  
  
_how could i ever forget you when i love you_ , the words are at the tip of his tongue.  
  
even when he hurts dongho with his words, he can’t help but think that the night sky doesn’t hold a candle to the person in front of him. he is but a lost planet orbiting the brightest star, how he wished he was worthy of him.

* * *

the next thing he registers is a warm body against his, enveloping him in a tight hug. he smells of sunshine and memories that dongho will bottle in his heart forever.

_i love you._

he tries to blink back the tears but a lone drop still trickles down his cheek. at the sound of his sniffles, the arms around him get impossibly tighter.

a voice calling a flight number resounds in the airport. someone yells at aron to hurry up. outside a light shower pours. yet all that rings in his ears are two resounding heartbeats. dongho loosens up his hold.

"have a safe flight, hyung." he manages. aron’s expression pinches and he settles with a nod.

_don't go._

dongho watches aron's back going farther away from him. until he disappeared from his sight.

* * *

a gentle hand shakes him awake, telling him that they arrived at his apartment. still jet lagged, aron apologizes profusely, giving the kind driver a handsome tip in exchange.

aron is welcomed by unopened boxes littering his flat. bare walls a blank canvas. he supposes he has a few days to spare to make the space look more lived in. he could almost see it ㅡ a bookshelf to house his growing collection of novels, a well-furnished kitchen, trinkets from his travels as well as picture frames of his family, perched on shelves in the living room.

but for now, aron decides to tidy up the bedroom first, body screaming for rest. as he washes up, he remembered that in three days, he’ll busy himself with old friends. they arranged a get-together party as soon as they learned aron was coming back.   
  
he pads through the bedroom wearing a plain cotton white shirt and matching pajamas. before resigning to sleep, aron wonders if he’ll get to see dongho then.

aron was already down to his second bottle. his throat feeling a pleasant burn.

it’s not that he’s not enjoying the party. he feels immensely grateful that his friends even thought to do such, and he does want to catch up. but his dwindling interest soon became apparent to others as aron spends the better part of the night craning his neck to stare at the entrance. clearly waiting for someone to arrive.

"dongho won’t be coming," a voice from behind says. followed by loud snickers. aron shakes his head. aron’s attraction to dongho is an open secret that everyone in their circle knows. except for the love interest himself.

he's probably busy, aron thinks as consolation. _he's avoiding you_ , a voice in his mind unhelpfully supplies.

an arm slings on his shoulder, “seriously, stop moping and text him already. i don’t want you to talk my ears off about how you miss him or some bullshit.”

he retrieves his phone from his pocket. what the hell would he say? aron decides to wing it. after several times of retyping messages and pulling his hair out of frustration, he finally hits send. 

> dongho-yah.
> 
> if you're free tomorrow, come over to my place? let's hang out. i'll send you the address.
> 
> i'll cook you pasta!
> 
> _Sent 11:32_

as an afterthought, he sends a cute sticker with pleading eyes. this might do the trick, he knows dongho likes- _liked_ them.

> i hope you'd come.

surprised at the incessant buzzing of his phone, dongho finally peels his eyes off the monitor and picks up the device. whoever this was luckily caught him after he was finished with work.

he stretches his arms slightly before checking the phone. 

_four messages from aron hyung_

at this hour? frowning, dongho reads through them. suddenly he remembers that there was supposed to be a welcome party tonight. he’s already informed them beforehand that he won’t be able to attend because he’s finishing a deadline. in his head, it just sounded like a convenient excuse.

that doesn’t quell the guilt sitting on his stomach. aron was probably expecting him. after all, he was still his best friend, wasn’t he?

moments later, he texts aron that he’ll be there. he can't keep on avoiding him after all.

the first sight of grown up aron that dongho sees after years is nothing like what he'd imagined in his head. 

hair slightly disheveled, traces of 4 o'clock shadow visible, smiling lopsidedly with his teeth showing. flour dust marring his black apron. 

aron clears his throat, "you came early." voice hinting of embarrassment at being caught unprepared. what a way to lose face. dongho thinks otherwise. aron has always been handsome anyway.

aron moves aside to let him enter inside. this close, dongho notices how he's outgrown the older by a few centimeters. 

belatedly realizing he has yet to say something, dongho remarks, "your place looks..." _minimalist? surprisingly clean?_ he settles on “nice”. 

hearing this, aron’s eyebrows shot upward. 

that was a stupid thing to say. he had seen aron lives in the better, more upscale part of the neighborhood. of course his apartment was _nice_. dongho abandons all attempts at small talk.

aron soon leaves dongho to his own devices, saying he’ll finish preparing and tidy up. he takes this chance to wander around the place. it was as he said, clean, but it looks lived in. the only thing out of place was the books opened and haphazardly stacked. he gravitates toward the picture frames on the side of the living room. to his surprise, he finds their younger selves staring back at him, arms slung against each other, wearing identical face-splitting grins. the kwak family picture. pictures of him at famous landmarks. with other people he doesn't know but he assumes are aron's friends.

even if he's erased from a part of aron's life, dongho is happy that he's happy.

the sound of throat clearing breaks dongho's musings. aron has changed into a washed down jeans that hugged his thighs just right and a jet black sweater that is a bit larger than his frame. drops of water cling into the ends of his hair reflected by light as he runs a hand through it almost unconsciously.

he's sure he'd seen the same thing in his dreams, the vision of aron holding a plate of food made just for him. dongho can't seem to look away, afraid that this is a dream to good to be true. and he'll wake up from this anytime soon. 

he joins aron in the table, sitting across the man. with much struggle, he peels his eyes off of the man before him and dutifully looks at his plate. aron urges him, “taste it.” he twirls a forkful of the pasta and puts it in his mouth, letting out a light slurping sound. a familiar taste hits his taste buds. it reminds him of being a kid, staying for lunch at the kwak's house. aron learned the recipe very well. he feels the corners of his lips tug upward. 

"this is better than most overpriced pastas i've been unfortunate enough to try," dongho finally says after a few mouthfuls. he looked sincere and the beginnings of half crescent moon showed in his eyes.

aron felt unbelievably happy hearing that. "then drop by whenever you feel like eating my food," he finds himself saying. _i want to see you more often._

inviting him here was a good call. aron made him rosé pasta after such a long time. he missed it, making food for the younger, watching how his eyes disappear in slits as if his cooking is the most delicious thing he tasted every time.

"are you sure? you might have trouble keeping me out of your apartment." 

it reminded aron so much of their banters that he chuckles loudly, "from you, i don't expect less."

the atmosphere finally lightens. they both visibly relax on their seats. almost like they have never been apart, conversation flowed naturally. the rest of the meal was spent with them chattering away like good old friends. aron asks about dongho’s work at the studio and dongho does the same, fervently listening as he hadn’t heard much about him for the recent years. in silent agreement, no questions were asked about the past.

dongho clears his plate before aron. after this, dongho would leave and it would be long before they see each other again. dread settles heavily on aron’s chest. he wants him to stay longer. 

but would dongho want to?

the younger beats him to it. "how about i give you my payment in advance?" aron’s eyes widened slightly, before understanding that he meant payment for the food aron will make him in the future. his heart skips a beat. dongho wants to spend time with him? even after he forced him to be here?

noticing the older’s silence, dongho thought he had pushed too far. aron was busy and so was he. he was just being polite on his offer earlier. “hyung, forget it-”

aron nods. finding his voice, he tells, “alright.” he sees dongho’s face brighten, stunning him. he wonders momentarily how he was able to live without the sun shining on him.

then, "are you free for the rest of the day?"

not planning _was_ the plan. it has always been like that with dongho. dongho takes his hand and aron lets himself get dragged to wherever ㅡ another adventure awaits.

after carefully checking the locks on his door, they go to the parking area downstairs. dongho leads him to meet an old friend, a car that aron was acquainted with since the kang family owned it. his hand glides and pats its hood, feeling a surge of joy at the familiar sight. aside from a few modifications, it looks nearly identical to the one in aron’s memories, still well-maintained. 

noticing that dongho had been seated at the driver’s side already, he rushes to settle on his seat, fixing the seat belt on him. 

"let's go see some water," dongho mumbles as he punches in a destination in his phone's navigation application.

 _wolmi island._ _33.8 kilometers._ an automated voice informs him. confusion clouded aron’s face but he hides it from the younger.

on their way, dongho stops by a café to purchase them drinks. “for the long drive,” he tells him. aron reaches for his wallet to pay for his but dongho waves it away. minutes later, he emerges out of the store with two yellow colored cups in both hands, looking like fruit shakes.

seeing aron staring vacantly ahead in the front seat, a childish thought occurs to dongho. aron looked so serious that he wants to tease him a little. reverting to his younger self, dongho pressed the cold surface of the cup on his cheek. an undignified yelp sounds out of the older. soon, peals of laughter filled the space. aron shakes his head in resignation.

dongho re-starts the engine and resumed driving. not knowing how to pick up a conversation, it was too silent. dongho notices and puts on music. he tilts his head to aron’s direction and glances at him as if to ask if he would like to choose a song. 

aron bobs his head slowly, following the rhythm. tapping his fingers on his lap. that is enough answer. dongho sighs in his head. right, they do have similar music tastes.

after a while, aron fiddles with his phone, looking up recommendation blogs for activities and good places to eat. when they were younger, it always fell upon him to do this task, only pausing to ask dongho of what he thinks about a particular suggestion. 

although he had said that this trip was payment for food, aron still has his suspicions. he is pretty sure the younger decided this impromptu road trip because he feels guilty for missing the party and welcoming aron back. silly dongho, is it even possible for aron to get mad at him.

naturally, he did what he did best at times like this. aron cracked a joke. to show him that everything is okay with them.

despite him, hints of laughter bubbled up on dongho's throat. one thing that brought them closer together was their matching humor codes and affinity for dad jokes. huh. that’s the second time he caught himself smiling today. 

after all this time, aron still easily brings out his smiles. knows him best. he deflates slightly, hands tightening on the wheel. dongho indulges him.

"last one," aron prompts, "what is the sweetest alcohol in the world?"

as if to set-up the punchline, he flickers his eyes to dongho's lips, slightly tinged with red. his voice trailed off. dongho briefly looks at aron. bites down on his lower lip slightly like he knows what's coming next. a hint of expectation in his features. 

never the one to back down from a challenge, aron says it anyway. "your lips."

 _oh._ as soon as he said it, there is that feeling again. during that day in the park. in his kitchen. he thought he was over it, the curiosity of how kissing him would feel like. but oh, how he wants. 

if aron was brave enough, he'd end his agony and lean forward. then it hits him. the man beside him is kang dongho. the golden boy of his childhood. the one with the sunshine smile. aron's _home_ , all those years ago. and he is kwak aron. who still wanted him selfishly. he feels dongho's gaze trained on him.

he aches to give in. to have a taste of something he badly wanted, but couldn't possibly have. he fears that once he had a little, he can never hold himself back.

so he says, "keep your eyes on the road, dongho." throat suddenly parched, aron grabs his abandoned drink and sipped as if to silence himself. 

trying to keep his face stoic while his heart wildly thumps takes herculean effort. his hands clenched harder, knuckles almost turning white. at last, dongho manages without heat, "well, don't distract me!"

perhaps he did overstep his boundaries. at least dongho does not look actually angry, aron sulks a little.

in no time, they arrived at wolmido. the weather was the right amount of warm, few clouds swirling ahead providing some shade. 

along the pavement just before the sea stretches, dongho and aron walked side by side. finally sitting down on a space not under the direct hit of sunlight. they were still too far from the water but the sight of blue instantly brought calmness.

“what do you want to do first, dongho-yah?” aron breaks the silence.

already standing up, dongho begins, “let’s stroll around the area first.” he pats his pants clean. “then find something to eat.”

after passing by several quaint shops, their feet brought them in front an arcade. an exchanged glance is all it took to know they had the same idea.

the space was quite large, almost every corner filled with game machines, one wall lined with stuffed toys of varying sizes. a true children’s paradise. the afternoon light spilling through the glass windows illuminated the area. it was almost tranquil but a pleasant sound rang in the almost empty arcade.

in an outsider's eyes, he imagines they were quite the sight. they either looked like two good friends or lovers on a date with how close they were. truthfully, aron would wished it was the latter. they traded bills for tokens as they raided each claw machine for stuffed toys. aron, it appears, never lost his affinity for it as dongho’s arms slowly got stacked by numerous colorful plushies.

like the old times, they decided to make a bet. whoever wins this game of darts will pay for their meal later. having competed against each other lots, it was an expected close fight. the keeper of the stand was even strangely immersed in their competition. in the end, it was dongho who won by a one point margin. aron did not mind, he secretly liked paying for the other’s snacks but no one needs to know that.

following the recommendation he saw earlier, aron led dongho to a seafood restaurant popular to the locals. as they expected, the place was packed but luckily, they managed to get seated. the bustling energy of the restaurant heightened their good mood. after they stuffed themselves full of grilled shellfish, knife-cut noodles and prawns, they made their way outside. aron pretends to be down, complaining that they swiped his card dry.

“we should bring our parents here,” he says. pleasantly surprised, dongho agreed.

with the last vestiges of sunlight almost disappeared, sunset paints the sky like watercolor. not wanting to go back to the car just yet, they sit by the seashore, faces serene and content. 

it was a good idea to bring him here, dongho thinks. aron had his eyes close, breathing in the sea breeze he so loved, the gentle flutter of waves grounding him. 

“next time.” aron has not realized he said this out loud. but the look on dongho’s face, the pretty blush appearing at the promise of a next time pushes the words out. “next time, i’ll bring you somewhere nice too.”

aron's hand itches to snap a picture. to keep the sight of dongho looking like this, stealing his breath away in frozen time. there’s something about keeping memories, especially now that he’s not sure if he will be allowed to be this close to him again. 

the thought startled him, how easy it was to forget everything when he's with dongho. being with him is like breathing. if he stops, he would cease to be.

the ride home was comfortably silent. in each other’s presence, words were no longer needed. they had time to relearn each other. 

  
  


after a few weeks, dongho takes up on aron’s offer. he calls, and calls again. aron answers each and every time. having dinner together whenever they were free became a new routine. whether it was at aron’s house, dongho’s on rare instances, or outside at a newly opened place they wanted to try out. dongho drives and drops aron off to his house. sometimes, aron visits him in his studio, bringing with him snacks and a fresh brew of coffee. he’s seen aron’s workplace as well and is introduced to his friends there. 

it was more than what he asked for. the hole gaping in his heart is filled with aron’s presence and he was being integrated in his life again. as if he never left.

it should be enough. dongho should have resigned to the fact that this is all he is going to be in aron’s life. a best friend. but every time aron smiled that toothy grin directed at him, like he makes him happy by being there, he fell slowly. every time he reminds dongho not to wear himself thin, offering silent comfort when he falls short, listening ever so patiently - he falls in love all over again. 

it can only be him. dongho wants nothing but to return the happiness aron gives him tenfold. but he knows he is not allowed to.

five years ago, he knew in his heart that his love was not enough reason to convince aron to stay. now, he hopes, he was someone who is wanted, _needed_ and not someone who can be left behind.

sooner or later, aron might get tired of him and leave again. dongho is scared, not of him never coming back - no. he will not tie aron down. if he wants to fly, dongho will give him wings. more than anything, he is terrified of losing the chance to tell him how deep his love runs. to finally put the hope in his heart to rest. 

the next time he drops by to the studio, dongho looks uncharacteristically nervous. aron furrowed his brows to the evident unease on dongho’s face. if it's up to him, he does not want the younger to ever feel bad.

before he could ask what was wrong, dongho voiced out, "hyung, i want you to listen to something."

letting the matter go for a while, he nods and sits on the space next to dongho. he is flattered that dongho would want his opinion on something and he tells him just that. dongho passes him a headphone. soon dongho's voice sang in his ears.

_words aren't needed to know_

_that you're the star in my galaxy_

the song was good. coming from dongho, he knows not to expect anything less. however, he is confused. earlier, he dismissed the thought because how far-fetched, dongho would never write a song for him. as the song continues, though, the words… they were clear enough. it was not needed to be spelled out for him. dongho looks pointedly at the floor. "is thisㅡ"

 _did he_ _possibly?_

dongho must have turned around to face him because soon he felt a finger on his lips, pressing. almost rubbing on his lower lip. all the waiting must have made him shameless and impatient, he thinks, as he swipes his tongue on the fingertip. aron hears a breath hitch. dongho's eyes are blown wide, pupils dilated. heaps of emotions flickered in the brown orbs. the most prominent ones being disbelief, longing, and want.

as if he was a moth veering dangerously close to the light, aron moves closer. denying his feelings was futile. in this moment, he was robbed of words. so he'd rather make dongho feel.

aron closes the distance between them with his lips. and dongho melts into the kiss. with that one move, it felt like things will start falling into place. everything feels right with dongho.

headphones long discarded, the sound of dongho's voice was drowned in the beats of their hearts. 

finding himself perched on dongho’s lap, aron circles his hands on dongho’s neck, pulling him closer until he feels a sturdy chest against his. thank gods he was sitting, positive that his knees will give out if he wasn't.

dongho opens up easily for him and his tongue slips in to get a deeper taste. aron had always disliked sweets, but dongho's lips, he finds, is the right amount of addicting goodness. so he kisses him and gives it to dongho good, deep and slow. dongho stifles a moan when he feels aron bite down into his lower lip, nibbling it after. something hot curls into his stomach. he doesn't fight it.

his hands busy themselves running up and down the expanse of aron's back, then moving upwards to trap locks of brunette hair in his fingertips, marveling at its softness. he wants to remain like this, but the tightening in his lungs reminded him to breathe. he reluctantly lets go. 

aron watches dongho's hazel eyes flutter open. the closest to him he’s ever been, the color of his eyes becomes more pronounced. his jet black hair tussled. lips bruised and looking thoroughly kissed. like this, dongho was the most breathtaking sight he laid his eyes upon.

lips slightly parted, still catching his breathe, dongho tells him. "aron, i was ㅡ i have always been looking at you. for so long."

"i know." _because i was looking right back at you_

thousands of questions ran through aron's mind. he was thrilled, scared, and hopeful all at the same time. why the hell did he wait?

but he is here now, wanting nothing more than another kiss.

he shakes his head, sighing with fondness. "silly, did you actually write me a love song to confess?"

dongho replied, "there wasn't a right time to tell you then." aron looked like he wanted to say something to that but decided against it.

"why did you ask me to come see you?" _when you clearly wanted to avoid me_ , dongho can't bring himself to say. dongho finds that there is no bitterness in his tone. because he was never mad at all.

"...because i missed you," aron says so softly, almost resigned. dongho had to strain his ears to hear it. he had his head down, hiding his face. 

dongho’s heart squeezed at this admission. these were the words he wanted to hear most. that he was still wanted in aron's life.

"and i spent all those years chasing after my place in this world. without knowing that i already found it, in that kindergarten, since the first day we met. with you."

"but i was too much of a coward to act on it. it's probably too late now. and here i am suddenly barging in your life again after wanting out. i'm soㅡ" he scrambles to get off dongho’s lap.

dongho cuts him off and places a hand on his waist, "you're here now, i don't need anything else." they grew up and dongho let him go. and aron will always make his way back.

aron’s hands reached for dongho’s face, gently running his thumbs around the soft cheeks. "i want to be yours. if you would have me." 

dongho didn't need to be told twice. then and now, dongho was never capable of denying him anything.

in the soft glow of moonlight, dongho feels like he met aron for the first time. he takes his time mapping out every crevice in the other's lithe figure almost in reverence. planting gentle kisses on the scars, tracing the shape of the tattoos with his tongue. the sight of ink at his sides sent heat straight down south. aron tells him that those are words of worship. like his body was a temple, dongho wastes no time and _prays._ the firm tug on his hair and soft sighs emerging from above him urging him on.

skin against skin, he knows now that he can never get enough of aron's taste. 

("we have a lot of lost time to make up for," aron whispers against his lips.)

dongho commits to his memory how aron looked taken by pleasure. skin flushed, glowing with a sheen of sweat. eyes dark with desire and unsatiated hunger. 

he learns how his name sounded like the most brilliant piece of music spilling out from aron's lips. he swallows every sound, moans, ragged breaths in his lips. everything aron has to offer him. driving his hips down inch by agonizing inch, riding one sweet rhythm, they mold into one being. they are forever inseparable.

resting his head on the crook of dongho's neck, aron chants i love you, i love you, i love _you_ brokenly, almost desperate, like it's the last thing he's ever going to say. dongho reaches and cups his face. placing kisses between furrowed brows, the tip of his nose, before once again claiming the lips easily parting for him. 

dongho finds it too good to be true still, that he is able to see how in his arms, aron looked impossibly beautiful. in the face of a god, carved by the heavenly bodies, he surrenders. dongho is at his mercy. in the thirteen years he's been a friend. in the five years they spent apart. in all his lifetimes, dongho will give his heart to him.

aron tugs dongho closer to his chest. one hand entwined with dongho’s, the other gently carding through his hair. dongho hears the erratic hammering between his ribs, mirroring his own heartbeats. quietly, aron murmurs words, reassurances for dongho’s ears only. it sets his heart at peace, it lulls him to sleep.

“rest now, dongho-yah. i’ll see you tomorrow."

(in his head, he's already written a ode)

when aron wakes up the next morning, a head is still snuggled closely against his chest; strong arms loosely embracing him. carefully as to not wake him up, he shifts slightly and looks down to stare at dongho's peaceful resting face, bathing in the warm glow of sun peeking through the blinds.

this is how he will spend his every waking moment. beside dongho- the love of his life, who loves him back. this realization caused warmth to envelop his being. eyes softening with unrestrained fondness, aron decides he won't ever get tired of this sight. after adjusting the duvet around the younger, he punctuates this resolution with a fluttery kiss on dongho's forehead and a gentle caress of his cheek. at this, dongho rouses from his slumber. aron lets his hand linger there for a little longer, relishing how dongho leans in unconsciously to the touch before finally opening his eyes. hazel eyes stare back at aron and he sees nothing but himself reflected in those. he would not rather be anywhere else.  
  
after spending most of his life moving, aron has finally found where he belongs.

**Author's Note:**

> tl;dr WHERE is the baekron duet (any baekron content) that we deserve
> 
> anyway, this work more or less sums up my feelings for this pair who had me in their clutches despite having crumbs to live off on. i had to feed myself somehow, it resulted to this highly self indulgent fic.
> 
> if you got this far, thank you for reading!


End file.
